Some people think that to get good education one should go abroad, whereas other claim that people can get a good education in their own country as well. Which view do you agree with? Provide specific reason and examples to support your opinion.

#people #education #country #reason #support

In today’s globalised world studying abroad is getting easier than before. More and more people tend to get

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

education in developed countries. Some individuals consider that if

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

wants to be

good

Change the adjective

well

show examples

educated he should go abroad.

Nevertheless

others

believe that it is better to

study

motherland

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the motherland

show examples

. In

this

essay

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,essay

show examples

I will discuss both

side

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sides

show examples

this

argument and I will include my own viewpoint.

First,

for

strong

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a strong

show examples

economy and

flourished

Wrong verb form

flourishing

show examples

country

government is interested in more educated citizens in its state.

Therefore

, nowadays the young are willing to be

high

Replace the word

highly

show examples

educated. People who pass the special exams go

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

abroad with state line and

others

try to find other

sollutions

Correct your spelling

solutions

. Individuals believe that if they

study

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad it will be easy

Change preposition

for

show examples

them to find

high-salary

Add an article

a high-salary

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

Furthermore

, employees who had

abroad

Correct article usage

an abroad

show examples

edication

Correct your spelling

education

medication

dedication

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

get

promotion

Fix the agreement mistake

promotions

show examples

Change the word

apply

show examples

easier

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

others

at work.

Moreover

, in my opinion, studying in

other

Correct quantifier usage

another

show examples

country

borden’s

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borden

show examples

your horizons and you will learn about different cultures and

socaities

Correct your spelling

societies

. Turning to the other side of the argument, it is not easy to

study

far from your family members.

For instance

, students in our

country

usually live with their family and

this

release

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releases

show examples

their life condition. I mean, they do not think about domestic problems and

consantrate

Correct your spelling

concentrate

study

Besides

, people who live and

study

foreign

Add an article

a foreign

the foreign

show examples

country

they often meet cultural

shok

Correct your spelling

shock

In addition

Add an article

the difference

show examples

difference

Fix the agreement mistake

differences

show examples

between cuisine make them uncomfortable.

For example

, a friend of mine who studied in Chine lost 20

kilo

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kilos

show examples

while

living there.

To conclude

all above mentioned, the young try to be

high

Replace the word

highly

show examples

educated for good life and high salary job. Some prefer to

study

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad,

others

Correct word choice

while others

show examples

consider it is better to get high education in

hometown

Correct pronoun usage

their hometown

show examples

. I think It does not matter where you

study

, the matter is to be

useful

Add an article

a useful

show examples

person for your society.

Submitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on Tue May 16 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that to get good education one should go abroad, whereas other claim that people can get a good education in their own country as well. Which view do you agree with? Provide specific reason and examples to support your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more ?