Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Freedom of choice is everyone's
nessecity
Correct your spelling
necessity
.
Thus
, few individuals feel that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
small
sitiuations
Correct your spelling
situations
such
as food, clothes and entertainment can be taken care
by
Change preposition
of by
show examples
children
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
while
, others are obligated towards letting their
gaurdians
Correct your spelling
guardians
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
make a choice for them, as it is a matter of their future. I will discuss both points and write my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
in looming paragraphs. Mostly in many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
youngsters are not allowed to make decisions, because it is believed that
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
early growth should be taken care
under
Change preposition
of under
show examples
their parents so that cannot make mistakes and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not get into bad habits. To some extent, if any child
get
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gets
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
wrong
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the wrong
show examples
direction
then
even a small mistake can ruin
life
and
this
will always impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Last
year, one of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
show examples
get into drug addiction, he got full liberty from his parents
due to
which he took
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
decision
and at small age addicted to drugs,
now
Correct word choice
and now
show examples
his kidney is completely damaged.
Thus
at
early
Correct article usage
an early
show examples
age
Add a comma
,age
show examples
youngsters will never be allowed alone to direct their
life
.
However
, youngsters will become more successful and mature if they
are allow
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are allowed
show examples
to take
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
which actually influence their
life
. Hard decisions have always
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
a individual much stronger, these steps
teaches
Correct subject-verb agreement
teach
show examples
the path to feel for others,
respect
Correct word choice
and respect
show examples
everyone and somehow if any person fell into
wrong
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the wrong
show examples
path
then
he will know how to come out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
it. If we look into
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
children after 16 are allowed to take their own
decision
due to
which more than 90% of the people are successful and satisfied. All in all, to some extent it is good to avoid young generation
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
taking their own
decision
so that they cannot follow
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
direction, but I believe it is even more beneficial if
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
are allowed to make their own path which actually
effect
Change the verb form
effects
show examples
their
life
due to
which they will become capable to find their passion and become successful.
Submitted by pranav10puri on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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