IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Write a letter to your friend asking him or her to take care of your childern while you are away on a business trip. In your letter, Write what they like to eat . Write how they would spend their time. Suggest an arrangement to pick them up after the trip.

#friend #care #childern #business #trip #time #arrangement
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Dear Alia, I hope you are doing well.I am writing
this
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 letter to ask if you can take care of my kids
while
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 I
will be
Wrong verb form
am
show examples
 away on my very important business trip. I will fly from Toronto on May 15th and come back on May 25th.It is quite a long trip .
That is
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 why , I am worrying about my children .As you know they are sweet children , they will not disturb you much.
Apart from
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this
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, is it possible for you to give them meals?They prefer to eat lunch and dinner which should not be spicy and in the breakfast, you can give them a glass of milk
along with
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 an avocado sandwich and some berries .You can
also
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 offer them pancakes, waffles , omelette and a dish of their choice occasionally .They can just have home-cooked food
otherwise
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 both of them can have bad stomach pain. Other than that ,they can do everything else on their own.I just want them under your surveillance for safety. As I mentioned earlier, I will land on 25th May and go directly to your place from the airport.I will pick kids from your place.Please let me know if you have time during that period to take care of the kids. I hope I am not troubling you and sorry for
this
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 inconvenience.We will meet soon. Your friend, Anmol
Submitted by sehjpalanu on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the letter is structured with clear paragraphs and follows a logical order of ideas and information.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear and warm greeting and closing to maintain a friendly tone in the letter.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or topic for better organization and coherence.
task achievement
The letter responds to the task and presents necessary information about the business trip and the request to take care of the children. Consider providing more details about the children's needs and ensuring their well-being during the trip.
task achievement
Maintain a consistent and suitable tone throughout the letter, reflecting the appropriate level of formality for the request to the friend.
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