IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Housing and accommodation has become a major problem in many countries around the world. What are the main factors that have contributed to this problem? What can be done to help reduce the number of homeless people?

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The phenomenon of the housing crisis is pervasive around the world, and some
people
Use synonyms
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 afford to buy houses and
properties
Use synonyms
 for their living.
This
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 essay will look at the reasons for
this
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 and propose some solutions. There are several reasons why
this
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 situation is prevalent in many nations.
Firstly
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, the world’s population is growing and, it needs more housing and accommodations in order to cope with the current world population.
This
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 has led to enormous investment in housing, and land and property prices are skyrocketing. In Singapore,
for instance
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, the property price is double, compared to the price three years ago.
Secondly
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, some rich
people
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 buy more land and accommodations as an investment.
This
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 has
become
Verb problem
caused
show examples
 housing prices to increase, and low and middle-income
people
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 could not afford to buy houses or apartments. Various possible courses of action could be taken to tackle the above. In the first place, the local
government
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 has to set some arrangements for impoverished and low-income
people
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,
such
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 as building affordable housing,
low
Correct word choice
and low
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mortgage
Fix the agreement mistake
mortgages
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 or
low-interest
Correct your spelling
low interest
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rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 for loans.
For example
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, there is a scheme, in Australia, that some regional
government
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 provides a co-shared plan for buying a house.
In addition
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, a
government
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 can enact a legal law or set a limit for its citizens to buy limited
properties
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 with tax.
For example
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, in Singapore, a couple can buy only an apartment and a private property
such
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 as a condominium for the maximum. In conclusion, various factors
such
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 as population growth, skyrocketing home prices and unlimited buying of
properties
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 by some businessmen, have led to difficulty for some citizens to own houses.
This
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 is a serious problem, and unless the
government
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 controls
this
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 situation by means of enforcing necessary laws, and guidelines and providing grants or affordable
properties
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 to needy and homeless
people
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. My view is that the main responsibility for solving
this
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 problem lies with the
government
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction and conclusion clearly address the essay question
task achievement
The essay covers the main points, but the response could be more comprehensive and specific

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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