IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

1. Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures ?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures
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It is typically said that
today
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's
youngster
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youngsters
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 are pressurized by academic, social and commercial problems.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons
of
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for
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 these problems and provide certain measures to relieve the obstacles. I believe that young people must be preserved from growing
pressures
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.
Children
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 have many academic
pressures
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.
Today
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's kid isn'
t
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 contesting with the child next door or even of one's city or nation. He is competing with
kid
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kids
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 of the global village. The huge planet Earth of
past
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the past
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 is
little
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a little
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 well-linked global village of
today
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.
Parents
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 would like their
children
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 to be perfect in every field.
Children
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 are sent to the best schools, where school bag is heavier than the child himself by
parents
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. Even after school
hours
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,hours
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 they have private courses.
Children
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 aren'
t
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 given time to show their hidden abilities. And
also
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 they have many social problems and commercial
pressures
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. Socially, the
children
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 of
today
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 are in a big dilemma. They would like to preserve the global culture that their
parents
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 don'
t
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 want. Every now and
then
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this
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 makes them against their
parents
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' rules. They
also
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 come across peer
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pressures
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pressure
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.
This
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 peer pressure can help the increasing stress and strain on
children
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. When they see many modern items
such
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 as computers, phones
and
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apply
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etc with friends, they would like to purchase them. If they don'
t
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 buy them, they will be stressed.
Cure
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The cure
A cure
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 isn'
t
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 basic. Youngsters have to be handled with great care.
Children
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 should be given time and love by their
parents
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. Schools and teachers have the biggest onus.They should try to show the best in every child and teach their
children
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 competition and cooperation. They should teach that goal of
contest
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a contest
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 shouldn'
t
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 be to win and to win with modesty and lose with grace. Summing up, there is no suspicion that the youngsters of
today
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 are encountering so many
pressures
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, but measures should be taken on a war footing to protect their innocent childhood.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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