IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is better to make more money rather than have free time, while others prefer to have more free time rather than making money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many individuals think that making more
income
Use synonyms
 is better than having leisure
time
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 significant others believe that more free
time
Use synonyms
 is the best compared to working non-stop.
Although
Linking Words
 more
income
Use synonyms
 helps to live a luxurious
life
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 good health and well-being associated with adequate leisure
time
Use synonyms
 cannot be traded off.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the benefits that come with making more
income
Use synonyms
 cannot be over-emphasized, many people believe that the more
income
Use synonyms
 the better their
life
Use synonyms
 and that they could work and save all they could and later enjoy and rest
thereafter
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
, I know of a man
that is
Linking Words
 always ready to take up any available extra shifts in his early youth,
moreover
Linking Words
, he is 45 years old now and he is resting all he can and enjoying his savings from the past which he achieved through working non-stop.
However
Linking Words
, having free leisure
time
Use synonyms
 for friends and family is one of the greatest enjoyable things in
life
Use synonyms
. Many people believe that having more free
time
Use synonyms
 is essential to our health and well-being as it helps prolong
life
Use synonyms
 span and enables individuals to focus on other important aspects of their lives, it
also
Linking Words
 encourages bonding with family and friends.
For instance
Linking Words
, a man that goes to work and returns home early will have
time
Use synonyms
 to rest and enjoy reasonable discussions with families. In conclusion, making more money can guarantee to have more properties
however
Linking Words
 its benefits cannot in any way outweigh the joy of having enough
time
Use synonyms
 to plan for families and friends.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: