IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows how salt is removed from seawater to make it drinkable. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how salt is removed from seawater to make it drinkable. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram illustrates a cyclical process where it is explained as an industrial method to purify
salt
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
, making it drinkable.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process is composed of two stages, starting with the extraction of
water
Use synonyms
 from the
sea
Use synonyms
 and ending with drinkable
water
Use synonyms
 stored ready for human consumption. Looking at the first step,
salt
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 is removed from the
sea
Use synonyms
, experiencing a pretreatment filter, where
water
Use synonyms
 may be forced to go through the membrane at high pressure or could be returned to the
sea
Use synonyms
 via filter backwash. When
water
Use synonyms
 passes through the membrane, impurities and
salt
Use synonyms
 are removed from the
water
Use synonyms
 molecules, which go to the next step.
However
Linking Words
, seawater concentrate with high rates of impurities and
salt
Use synonyms
 is returned to the
sea
Use synonyms
. During the second step,
water
Use synonyms
 experiences a post-treatment where it is combined with lime, chlorine and fluoride to be
then
Linking Words
 stored, ready for consumption.
Finally
Linking Words
, when drinkable
water
Use synonyms
 is required, it is integrated into the
water
Use synonyms
 supply system.
This
Linking Words
 process is cyclical, removing
salt
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 from the
sea
Use synonyms
 when it is demanded and purifying it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words salt, water, sea with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: