Some people believe that the best way to improve the general well-being of schoolchildren is to make physical education compulsory in all schools. Others, however, think this world have little effect on overall health and that other measures are needed. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Physical

health

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is one of the most widespread topics these days

due to

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increased obesity and

health

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problem. Some people believe that to overcome

such

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issues it is necessary that physical education should be made a compulsion for every

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school going

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school-going

show examples

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children

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child

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However

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, some

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school

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schools

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of thought, believe that

this

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is a technological era and

instead

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of wasting time in maintaining

health

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children

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should be encouraged to learn computer-driven courses.

According to

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my understanding ,

health

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must be the first priority and

thus

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physical exercise should be enforced.

This

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essay will discuss both views with detailed explanations.

To begin

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with, in

this

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competitive world

parents

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believe that their

children

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should be equipped with technical knowledge

that is

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of extreme importance to survive.

This

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is because they would like their

children

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to have better job prospects when they leave

school

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For example

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. some of the high-paying jobs these days merit several hard-core skills

such

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as computer programming and statistical analysis.

Thus

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parents

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are more concerned about the competition they might face professionally rather than their physiological well-being .

However

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, it is obvious that these same

parents

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are forgetting the need for physical and mental strength these urchins will require when they face the real physical world.

Additionally

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, to have a better job is important, but it is

also

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important to be physically fit to perform the work.

Furthermore

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, today's generation is incapable to perform hard labour and mentally challenging work because of obesity and

health

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conditions.

Moreover

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, because of

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this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

,conditions they become dependent on others

as well as

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consider themselves a burden to the family.

For example

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, a recent survey demonstrated that the suicide rate was piqued in the past decade

due to

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obesity and mental illness.

Thus

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, it can be said that physical exercise is the most important activity for

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Correct article usage

a school

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school going

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school-going

show examples

child. In conclusion, as per the aforementioned reason, it is of utmost importance to keep physical training subject mandatory not only to maintain physical

health

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but

also

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to make them self-reliant and confident. It is

also

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suggested that

parents

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themselves organise some physical activity at home so that to keep their child's mind and body active.

solanki26hiralWed May 17 2023

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

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