It is no longer necessary that animals should be slaughtered and made into either human foodstuffs or non-foodstuffs, such as fur and medicine. Do you agree or disagree?

#animals #foodstuffs #non-foodstuffs #fur #medicine

Humans are said to be the most selfish living beings on the planet.

While

all creature has the right to live freely, people usually kill them to satisfy their need which is unjustified in most cases.

This

process of killing the animals needs to be banned before the results become irreversible and individuals will have nothing despite regrets. I completely agree that slaughtering animals should be prohibited by all means.

Firstly

, what human wants

is being increasing

Change the verb form

is being increased

is increasing

show examples

day by day which sometimes get fulfilled at the cost of

life

Add an article

the life

show examples

of other living being.

For example

, hens are nowadays being farmed in order to slaughter them for food.

This

is not the only case many other species are being cultivated for food and demand is

ever rising

Add a hyphen

ever-rising

show examples

. Certainly, it is true to

said

Change the verb

say

show examples

that soon animals will be treated

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

as crops.

Also

, these are not

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

just

the

Correct article usage

show examples

source of food but

also

used for many other purposes like making carpets.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

161 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is no longer necessary that animals should be slaughtered and made into either human foodstuffs or non-foodstuffs, such as fur and medicine. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Being famous on the Internet is a good because of some reasons Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shoppings centres or malls to do their shoping. Is this a positive or a negative development ?

Nowadays more and more older people who are looking for a position have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?