IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Although more and more people read the news on the internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #internet #newspapers #source #majority
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It is argued that the major way of obtaining fresh information for the biggest part of society is paper-based sources ,
Linking Words
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
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online-
Correct your spelling
online news
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news
Use synonyms
 format has increasing popularity. I disagree that physical
news
Use synonyms
 will keep their position in the community.
Firstly
Linking Words
, individuals can have a variety of data just
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their internet-connected device, and
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secondly
Add a comma
secondly,
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 some websites are free to use. Nowadays,
due to
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 the technology
developing
Replace the word
development
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 process, every person can find any information by using
global
Add an article
the global
a global
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 network in their gadgets. More and more people have the possibility to receive up-to-date
news
Use synonyms
 without a number of movements.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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this
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 system saves a lot of people’s time, which they can spend
for
Change preposition
on
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 personal education or other activities.
For example
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,
according to
Linking Words
 the
last
Linking Words
reserch
Correct your spelling
research
 people in London
stop used to buy
Wrong verb form
stopped buying
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 paper
news
Use synonyms
 every morning in order to have more time for sports exercises. A lot of internet services provide their data without asking you to pay. Information is starting to be more accessible for consumers with different financial status. Individuals
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 started to read more, and
as a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 the
overall
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 level of literacy has been increasing every year.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
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 Nigeria as an example,
where
Rephrase
apply
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after providing cheap smartphones with
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
acces
Correct your spelling
access
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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internet sources, general knowledge in the state compared with 2011 had increased in 3 times by the end of 2022. In conclusion, newspapers will not be relevant soon, because reading what is happening in the world right now is more convenient and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
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easier by using the phone,
also
Linking Words
 because of the reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 is becoming more available in order to
minumin
Correct your spelling
minimise
 or zero price.
Submitted by ksvid49 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure, leading to confusion and lack of coherence. The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in terms of coherence and relevance to the topic. The main points are somewhat supported but lack thorough development, resulting in a lack of cohesion.
task response
The essay partially responds to the task by presenting a clear opinion and some relevant points. However, the response lacks thorough development and fails to provide a comprehensive analysis of the topic. Additionally, the examples provided are somewhat relevant but need to be more specific and detailed to fully support the argument.
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