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Band 3

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on botj individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #impact #botj #individuals #society
Using networking
sites
 has been always giving a basis for lengthy debates. In fact, I think that using them has both negative and positive effects for individuals and society
simultinously
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
. On the one hand, social networking
sites
 impact negatively. For one, the more
people
 use networking
sites
, the more they may lose their health fastly. It might bring not only poor eyesight
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 can
causes
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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stress, overthinking and feeling blue regularly. Another fundamental reason has to do with the fact that
people
 have not been doing
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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 conversations,
infinite
Correct word choice
or infinite
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 talks with their relatives and colleagues for many years. With that in
mind
Add a comma
,mind
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people
 prefer living alone,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a consequence
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, it might bring damage to society.
On the other hand
, social networking
sites
also
 offer major advantages.
Firstly
, since we live in a technological century,
people
 might earn more money from
distant
Replace the word
distance
show examples
 thanks to networking
sites
straighforwardly
Correct your spelling
straightforwardly
straightforward
.
Furthermore
, it is more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
Change preposition
to chating
show examples
chating
Correct your spelling
chatting
 with friends or relatives
as well as
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
 and
observing
Wrong verb form
observe
show examples
 others via social media even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 are far from us. On top of that, if
people
 want to know about some information, they should just surf the internet, access the network and find that information.
To sum up
, it is undeniable that social networking
sites
 may bring some negative impacts, that said, it has beneficial
sigjts
Correct your spelling
sights
 to considering its role in developing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both society and
Correct article usage
the lifesytle
show examples
lifesytle
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
 of
people
.
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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