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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think money is one of the most essential factors in promoting hapinness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

#people #money #factors #hapinness #happiness
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It is more than true that money plays an essential role in every person's
life
Use synonyms
, it helps them find happiness. From my point of view, individuals cannot remain in a happy environment without money as living becomes quite challenging.
Furthermore
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, one can live joyfully by having both peace and excellent health.
To begin
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 with, having financial stability is important as it eases the burden of everyday tasks,
such
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 as shopping, cycling and other matters needs. If an individual lacks financial stability, they may have started relying on their family, friends, neighbours and even strangers for financial assistance. It leads them to lose their own way, independence and confidence, which in severe cases,
for instance
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, depending on others might be the reason for feeling helplessness and
also
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 hopelessness, eventually causing them to react out of character.
For example
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, a recent article in a European news channel reported about a man who after failing to provide his family with everyday needs, had attempted suicide which underscores the importance of financial stability not only for individuals but
also
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 for their families. There are,
however
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, other aspects that bring great joy and are considered blessings in our
life
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.
Firstly
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, health – allows people to overcome any sort of challenges that they may encounter.
Furthermore
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, being ill and having any disasters can prevent individuals from living
comfortable
Add an article
a comfortable
show examples
life
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. The second might be peace, as even poor society, who are struggling to get rich, can experience happiness if they are in the piece.
For instance
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, people who live in quite poor counties around the globe, have less stress and social problems compared with those who live in developed corners of the world.
To sum up
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, I strongly believe that having sufficient finances is crucial as it allows living in freedom.
However
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, good health and peaceful
life
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 are
also
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 essential for our satisfaction. These factors assist us overcome obstacles simply,
while
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 peace brings enough joy and contentment.
Submitted by mirazizalikulov on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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