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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays ? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more during the summer.
While
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such
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 extended breaks are widely believed to benefit young people, others argue that shorter vacations would better support educational progress. Both perspectives present convincing arguments. One major advantage of long
school
Use synonyms
 holidays is that they allow learners to recover from the demands of the academic year.
School
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 schedules often involve continuous assignments, examinations and strict deadlines, which can create considerable pressure. A prolonged break
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Punctuation problem
, therefore
show examples
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
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 provides an opportunity for students to rest both mentally and physically, enabling them to return to their studies with renewed energy and motivation.
Moreover
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, extended vacations create valuable opportunities for family interaction and personal development. During
this
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 period, young people may travel, pursue hobbies, participate in sports, or develop practical skills that are rarely explored during the
school
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 term.
Nevertheless
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, there are
also
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 persuasive reasons why some people support shorter holidays. A primary concern is the potential loss of knowledge that may occur when learners remain away from academic activities for a long time. After several weeks without studying, many pupils struggle to recall previously learned material.
Consequently
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, teachers are often required to spend additional time reviewing earlier lessons
instead
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 of introducing new concepts.
In addition
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, shorter breaks can help maintain consistent learning habits, allowing students to remain academically engaged throughout the year. In conclusion,
although
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 extended
school
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 holidays contribute significantly to students’ well-being and personal growth, shorter breaks may help preserve academic continuity and reduce learning loss.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides well, but you can add one more clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
For task response, your conclusion is clear, but you can make your own view a little stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use linking words well, but you can use a few more simple links like 'for example' or 'because' to show support more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some points are general. Add one small real-life example to support each main idea.
task response
You answer both questions in the task, so your response feels complete.
task response
Your ideas are clear and relevant, and you stay on the topic all the way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening, body, and ending, so it is well organized.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs connect in a smooth way, which makes the essay easy to read.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • long holidays
  • short holidays
  • summer break
  • rest
  • health
  • family time
  • travel
  • reading
  • learning
  • memory
  • gaps
  • exams
  • curriculum
  • planning
  • cost
  • money
  • parent
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • summer school
  • enrichment
  • activities
  • schedule
  • fairness
  • access
  • inequality
  • support
  • spare time
  • staggered holidays
  • intersession
  • balance
  • policy
  • example
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