The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
In today’s society, it has been observed that the trend of increasing consumer
goods
production is contributing to signification impacts on the natural environment. This
essay will examine the various factors leading to this
phenomenon and propose possible solutions to this
problem.
It is the increase in demand for more products that leads manufacturers to produce a greater quantity of consumer goods
. As the population has grown rapidly since the past century, along with
the economic boom, people tend to spend more expense on consumer goods
such
as brand-name clothes and organic whole foods to improve life quality
. To satisfy customers’ growing material desires, an escalating number of factories and supply chains are established, leading to a rise in the emission of greenhouse gases and wastewater.
Secondly
, another contributing factor is the malicious competition between companies aiming for a better profit. The most common way to attract more customers is by introducing a much lower price than other competitors, yet with cheaper material or craftsmanship. A good illustration is that recently in China, lots of influencers have been sponsored by merchants to sell their products on different platforms through livestreaming at incredibly low prices. However
, many of these goods
sent worldwide afterwards are substandard, with extremely poor quality
and short lifespans. This
will lead to a surge in discarded consumables due to
quality
issues, resulting in more garbage being decomposed.
To address these issues, there are several sustainable solutions that businesses and individuals can adapt to. Firstly
, manufacturers should explore and choose materials that are more environmentally friendly and introduce technologies into the production line, involving renewable energy such
as solar and wind energy. On the other hand
, customers should avoid impulsive purchases and focus more on the quality
and environmental attributes of products.Submitted by yuyi981121 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay follows a clear and logical structure. While the organization is mostly clear, transitions between ideas could be smoother to aid in the overall flow of the essay. Consider using more varied and complex transition words to guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and they effectively frame the essay. However, the conclusion could be enhanced by summarizing not only the problems discussed but also reinforcing the solutions proposed.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported, but further expansion on each would strengthen the argument. This includes more in-depth explanation and the use of a wider range of examples and evidence.
task achievement
The essay has responded to the task effectively, addressing both parts of the question. To score higher, further develop your ideas to be more comprehensive. This could mean providing more detailed analysis or adding additional insights related to the causes and solutions.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear but to receive a higher score, make them more comprehensive by diving deeper into each point. Consider exploring each idea from multiple angles and presenting a more thorough analysis.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. The examples given are good, but providing specific data or case studies could enhance your argument's validity and persuasiveness.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.