Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose

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People

have different views about the roles and functions of

museums

While

netizens think that

museums

should be interesting places to entertain

people

, I believe the

museum

's better purpose is to educate.

This

Change preposition

In this

show examples

essay, I will

duscuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

that idea. On the one hand, it can be argued that the main role of a

museum

is to entertain.

Firstly

, the

museum

is a place that attracts many tourists, and the purpose of the

museum

is to display interesting objects that young

people

will want to see.

For example

, my friends had a visit

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

museum

in Hai Phong

city

Correct your spelling

City

show examples

, they were interested because the decoration there is very suitable for young

people

Secondly

, the average visitor may become bored if they

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

to read or listen to too much educational content, so

museums

often put more of an emphasis on enjoyment rather than learning.

On the other hand

museum

Add an article

the museum

show examples

plays a significant role in providing knowledge about history, art, science and culture to young

people

Therefore

,we need to employ guides to explain

these knowledge

Change the determiner

this knowledge

show examples

in a more efficient way rather than showing just an exhibition to visitors.

As a result

people

can access information more easily, and broaden their understanding

while

having fun inside the

museum

. In

this

way, the main purpose of the

museum

is to educate

people

about the history of interesting collections of objects of great cultural or historical value. In conclusion, I firmly believe that not only

museums

Add a missing verb

do museums

show examples

have a positive impact on learning and educating young

people

, but the role of

museums

in attracting

people

is undeniable.

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Thu May 18 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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