IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
 have different views about the roles and functions of
museums
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 netizens think that
museums
Use synonyms
 should be interesting places to entertain
people
Use synonyms
, I believe the
museum
Use synonyms
's better purpose is to educate.
Linking Words
This
Change preposition
In this
show examples
 essay, I will
duscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 that idea. On the one hand, it can be argued that the main role of a
museum
Use synonyms
 is to entertain.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
museum
Use synonyms
 is a place that attracts many tourists, and the purpose of the
museum
Use synonyms
 is to display interesting objects that young
people
Use synonyms
 will want to see.
For example
Linking Words
, my friends had a visit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
museum
Use synonyms
 in Hai Phong
city
Correct your spelling
City
show examples
, they were interested because the decoration there is very suitable for young
people
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the average visitor may become bored if they
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to read or listen to too much educational content, so
museums
Use synonyms
 often put more of an emphasis on enjoyment rather than learning.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
museum
Add an article
the museum
show examples
 plays a significant role in providing knowledge about history, art, science and culture to young
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,we need to employ guides to explain
these knowledge
Change the determiner
this knowledge
show examples
 in a more efficient way rather than showing just an exhibition to visitors.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can access information more easily, and broaden their understanding
while
Linking Words
 having fun inside the
museum
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 way, the main purpose of the
museum
Use synonyms
 is to educate
people
Use synonyms
 about the history of interesting collections of objects of great cultural or historical value. In conclusion, I firmly believe that not only
Use synonyms
museums
Add a missing verb
do museums
show examples
 have a positive impact on learning and educating young
people
Use synonyms
, but the role of
museums
Use synonyms
 in attracting
people
Use synonyms
 is undeniable.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: