Us film industry has a huge influence on people of the world. It is better that government should invest in local films industry to what extent to you agree or disagree

In recent years,
due to
the advancement of technology and social media, the US film industry has had a huge impact on
people
all around the globe.
Thus
, local
film-makers
Correct your spelling
filmmakers
show examples
do not have the passion to work on their movies. In
this
essay, these two opposite views will be discussed. The US film industry is one of the pioneers of
this
field and most of the
ideas
stemmed from American directors' minds.
Hence
, directors from other countries should create a masterpiece to become well-known worldwide.
For instance
, "Parasite" from South Korea won the Golden Globe Prize despite having the Korean language. Apart from that, "Hollywood" has the best actors and actresses for each genre.
In addition
, they have unbelievable fundamentals
such
as advanced pieces of equipment for directing each episode.
However
, investing in some local film-making industries and some local
cultures'
Change noun form
cultures
show examples
series has a special potential to become popular. If good planning exists, the result will be astonishing.
For example
, making movies from local games
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
some countryside could be successful. Because most
people
want to get rid of repetitive
ideas
and want something new.
Thus
,
film-makers
Correct your spelling
filmmakers
show examples
should keep that in mind. All in all, there are more than enough scenarios that could leverage the power and popularity of the cinema and movie industry. I am highly enthusiastic about watching novel
ideas
on TV rather than
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
boring scenes. Governments can take a survey on what
ideas
should they invest in from
people
.
As a result
, the satisfaction rate will grow and more
people
will be encouraged to watch local channels.
Submitted by aneizehbaz on

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Task Achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure your task response directly and thoroughly addresses all parts of the prompt. In this case, explicitly clarify to what extent you agree or disagree and consistently relate all points back to this position throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance transitions between ideas to improve the logical flow and connectivity of your essay. This will help your readers follow your argument more effortlessly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples, such as the mention of 'Parasite,' are effectively used to support points and enrich the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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