IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

People have to spend more and more time to travel from their homes for jobs and study. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

#people #time #travel #homes #jobs #study
Nowadays
people
 use
vehicles
 for going to job and other purposes and expend more time travelling.
This
 essay intends to analyze some causes behind
this
 situation and
also
 suggest possible ways to alleviate
this
 problem.
To begin
 with, the first reason for
this
 problem is
traffic
. A large number of
vehicles
 which clog our cities are private cars.
People
 prefer to travel in their own
vehicles
, so it causes
traffic
 on roads. Motorists are very reluctant to leave their precious cars behind and go to work on public transport, despite the constant
traffic
 jams.
Thus
, our roads are chock-a-block with
traffic
. Moving
further
 to the second cause of
this
 problem is the condition of public
transportation
. In our modern life,
people
 do not like to wait for buses and trains. The buses are very slow, stop at every station, and
this
 is not a good choice for
people
 who are in a hurry to work or study and
this
 is the very reason why they do not travel in public
transportation
.
Therefore
, the government has to control the way of acting
transportation
 and find ways that reduce the numbers of gridlock. They may make changes to road rules, or some firms have to provide car parks or garages, where at least some of the employees can leave their cars. In conclusion,
people
 use their own
vehicles
 for crucial purposes like going to work, studying and other personal issues.
Also
, the government should be improved public
transportation
.
People
 continue to suffer from gridlock unless the government hedges to
this
 condition.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: