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Band 5.5

People nowadays tends to have children at older ages Do advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages

#people #children #ages #advantage #outweigh
Nowadays, giving
birth
 in old
age
 has become something people practice now.
However
, giving
birth
 in old
age
 has come with some effects like menopause, and
birth
complications
 which can actually be treated when good medical attention is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
given, but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Giving
birth
 early gives the parents an opportunity to look more after their
children
 with their whole strength which is not so in giving
birth
 late.In
this
 essay,I will discuss both views and a conclusion will be made.
To begin
 with, some people believe having
children
 at a young
age
 makes them look old easily because of work that
involve
Change the verb form
involves
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taking care of them but it can lead to several
complications
 if care is not taken.
However
,if an individual doesn'
t
 want to conceive young they should go for medical
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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 often so that when the time they want comes,they won'
t
 have a problem with
birth
.
For example
,the family of Ajao got married early but they wanted to enjoy their life before conception because they believe
children
 will make them old early and they don'
t
 want to get old early so I went for family planning
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when it was time they planned to give them, the wife had a fertility problem they should have solved when she was still young but because they don'
t
 want to have
children
then
 they didn'
t
 know. They told her if she conceive with the condition there was no chance of her survival, they had to remain childless forever.
However
, young couples who give
birth
 at early stages makes them prevent some maternal
complications
 and make the
children
 look healthier than others
although
 some couples do not have enough knowledge about
children
 and how to train them if they seek help from others older than them, they can teach the
children
 well.
For example
, the family of Alamu got married early and they gave
birth
 early,
although
 it wasn'
t
 easy having
children
 and looking for finance to cater for the
children
 but they tried their best to teach the
children
 right and in a good way. They struggled and they both travel out of the country and the
children
 are doing fine with their parents. In conclusion,
although
 giving
birth
 at an older
age
 can result into accumulate wealth health
complications
 are more important than wealth so as to prevent unaware menopause.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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