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Band 3

Topic: scientists and technology exists seem to be more valued by modern security than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree.

#topic #scientists #technology #security #musicians #artists
In recent times, individuals with expertise in science and technology are usually regarded
highly
Correct quantifier usage
more highly
show examples
 than artists and musicians.
This
 essay will partially agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 statement above as both groups have their unique contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. Science and technology
is
Change the verb form
are
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 growing rapidly and vastly as the
world
 we live in is being controlled and shaped by science
hence
 they are more valued by the government.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
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 the outbreak of
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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such
 as covid 19 and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
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variant
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variants
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 had
Correct article usage
the governmentsof
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governmentsof
Correct your spelling
governments of
government of
governments
 the
world
 depending on
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 to proffer
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to curtail the spread of the pandemic across the globe.
According to
 the reports by United Nations 2020,
technologist
Add an article
a technologist
the technologist
show examples
 can either make or destroy the
world
. Musicians and artists
on the other hand
 are more respected by individuals in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society adding value to
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
show examples
 and norms of the nation.
According to
 the report by
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
times
Correct your spelling
Times
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, individuals who watch Pop culture have increased drastically over the years.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 the movie the return of Spiderman which premiered 21st of December 2021 had over 10 billion viewers
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 and technology
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 seem to be more valued by the government, artists and musicians in their own uniqueness are respected and appreciated by the people.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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