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Band 6

Write a passage about the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city

#passage #city
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will share about the benefit and drawbacks of living in the town. in
this
 case, the benefit of living in the
city
 where there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
transportation
 and many get a job is easier than living in a rural environment. The drawback when
people
 live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 metropolis is noise pollution and crowded roads.
to begin
 with, the benefit of living in a
city
 where
people
 is easier to other places with public shipping,
such
 as train, bus, plane, trans-Jakarta, taxi, and many more.
in addition
, Online
transportation
 like bikes, or cars online. so, when
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
arrive
Correct subject-verb agreement
arrives
show examples
 in the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
city
, it is easy to another destination. because in the
city
 society
consider
Change the verb form
considers
show examples
 getting a job who move to the
city
, because
people
 argue that
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 is a town has opportunities get a job and many accompany in the
city
,
whereas
 many
people
 are easier get work in the
city
 than population living in the rural environment.
for instance
, based experience, in my office
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have friends from the rural environment as in Tangerang and the location office in Jakarta,
in addition
, every morning
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 usually see the community from Bogor go to Jakarta. in Indonesia, Jakarta is a popular township to get employment and many companies there.
furthermore
, there are some drawbacks if
nation
Correct article usage
a nation
show examples
 living in the
city
. In
this
 case,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will
divided
Change the verb form
divide
show examples
 two disadvantages of living in the
city
. In the
city
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
corruption is the highest noise pollution, because in the
city
 there are
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 and some
association
Fix the agreement mistake
associations
show examples
cause
Correct pronoun usage
that cause
show examples
 industrial deterioration, not only from companies,
besides
that
Correct word choice
but
show examples
, from
shipment
Fix the agreement mistake
shipments
show examples
,
that is
 cause noise abuse because of emissions public
transportation
 as private vehicles as motorbikes, cars, busses,
train
Change the verb form
trains
show examples
. in the
city
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very crowded roads so
this
 is cause a traffic jam and the number of vehicles in the
city
 is higher than in rural and make
people
 easily stressed. in conclusion, the advantage of living in a
city
 is
that is
 convenient and simple to get
transportation
 and the disadvantage is living in the
city
, many
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
show examples
 get roar corruption and traffic light.
Submitted by sakinah.snr on

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