IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The detailed description about crime will affect the people and cause many social problems. Some people say that the media should be strictly controlled. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#description #crime #people #media
The media is the most prevalent source of information we have these days. A detailed account of criminal activities will have a negative effect on individuals and
the
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apply
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society at large.
Therefore
, it continues to be controversial if news channels should filter the report they give and I strongly agree
to
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with
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this
although
 there are valid points
to
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on
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 both sides. On the one hand, advancement in technology has brought about easy access
of
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to
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 social media
to
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for
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 individuals of different age groups
especially
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,especially
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 young children. People in
this
 age group are still in their developmental stage in life and exposure to criminal activities, violent videos and foul words will affect
the
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them
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 negatively as they age older.
This
 can make them violent and riotous in behaviour.
For instance
, a recent study carried out in Asia concluded that the larger population of underaged in prisons and
ehabilitation
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rehabilitation
 homes have early exposure to bloody scenes and cruel telecasts. Moreso, psychologically, horror and crime scenes have a way of affecting humans. The brain tends to store unfavourable events in the subconscious mind which can be triggered to come into consciousness when
similar
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a similar
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 occurrence happens or is seen.
For example
, a girl who was raped
few
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a few
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 years ago can develop panic/ anxiety disorder when she hears or sees
detailed
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a detailed
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 account
if
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of
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similar
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a similar
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 event.
On the other hand
, criminals are convicted in court based on the severity sin committed and
this
 can only be known if a comprehensive explanation
what
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of what
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 is done is given. Most times, withholding
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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