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Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as tow thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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The number of overweight young individuals growing in size nowadays become a serious social issue not only in Australia but in many regions around the world.
While
 some consider it as the obligation of individuals, I strongly agree that educational institutions play essential roles to help young people remain their weight at a healthy standard.
To begin
 with, overloading sugar and salt on a daily basis are one of the cogent causes of obesity,
as well as
 lack of exercise.
Such
 phenomena could lead to various chronic diseases, including diabetes and cardiovascular diseases,
along with
 it, some negative impacts on respiratory systems. On the one hand, parents have a great influence on their children at an early age, which could foster
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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good eating habits and active lifestyles in the young age groups.
However
, a large number of double-income families nowadays reduce the time they spent on their children to ensure
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
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to
Fix the infinitive
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follow balanced diets and have sufficient outdoor activities.
On the other hand
, there are various methods for educational institutions to tackle
such
 problems. First of all, schools are able to provide healthy meals with sufficient nutrition and low calories to cultivate the younger generation with healthy eating habits.
For example
, in the majority of secondary schools in Taiwan, it is compulsory for students to eat lunch arranged by professional nutritionists to deter them from eating fast food.
Secondly
, educators could throw many events to encourage teenagers to form a regular exercise routine, including sports competitions and marathons.
For example
, many schools in the USA are together holding national sports competitions annually, which attract thousands and millions of young participants.  To summarise, it is essential for family members to keep an eye on their children to intake more real food and less processed products.
In contrast
, I am in favour of depending on authorities to reduce the number of young people who suffer from
obesities
Replace the word
obesity
show examples
.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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