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Band 2.5

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of . Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #supermarkets #responsibility #amount #customers #goods
Whilst some
people
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that the
responsibility
 of decreasing the packaging of foods belongs to producers and supermarkets, others believe
this
responsibility
 belongs to consumers.
This
 essay discusses both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 and
explain
Change the verb form
explains
show examples
 why customers should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
. Food companies and sellers always want to
incraese
Correct your spelling
increase
 their incomes.
Therefore
, they prefer selling durable goods to avoid trashing them.
Thus
, it is good and profitable for them
selling
Change the verb form
to sell
show examples
 packed foods.
Moreover
, they are companies that
aims
Change the verb form
aim
show examples
 to increase income and they only meet the
consumers
Change noun form
consumer's
consumers'
show examples
 wants.
For example
, there are some
branda
Correct your spelling
brands
 like Superfresh in Türkiye. They sell packaged meals in supermarkets.
People
 usually cannot find them in stores in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
In contrast
, individuals don't prefer using packaged meals in rural areas. It is certain that it is all about
people
's
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 prefer using packaged goods, since they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have enough time to shop every day.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, it is well known that they are not
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
, but
people
 use them. So,
people
 take the
responsibility
. In conclusion,
manufactuter
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
manufacturer
 produce to meet consumer's requirements.
Therefore
, they have no
responsibility
. In my opinion, all
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
belogs
Correct your spelling
lies
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 choosing
this goods
Change the determiner
these goods
show examples
.
Submitted by a.muratdemircan on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly through your arguments.
task achievement
Your task response covers both views and gives an opinion, but you could expand your arguments further with more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Improve clarity and comprehension by addressing minor grammatical errors and maintaining consistent tense and subject-verb agreement.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both views, fulfilling the essay prompt's requirements.
task achievement
Your conclusion succinctly states your opinion, providing a clear end to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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