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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#percentage #households #kinds #technology #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph indicates the proportion of households with various
technology
Replace the word
techniques
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 in the US between 1995 and 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, the washing machine was the most common type of household. Washing machines had the largest proportion, with 60 per cent in 1995, which is three times higher than phones and
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
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. There was a steady growth in these 4 years, with slightly less than three quarters. Computers took second place, with 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1995.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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1999 year saw a difference, the phone has just over 60
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, which is more than computers. DVD player came third in 1995, but a significant fall took place in 1996.
Although
Linking Words
 the percentage climbed later, it still took up the least proportion in 1999.The
internet
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Internet
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 is the least common
households
Fix the agreement mistake
household
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 in 1995, with only 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, and climbed gradually
these year
Change the determiner
this year
these years
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. In 1999, it was taken up to 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
Submitted by zhangyongc83 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Households
  • Technology adoption
  • Growth rate
  • Decline rate
  • Milestones
  • Obsolete
  • Societal factors
  • Economic conditions
  • Advancements
  • Consumer preferences
  • Market saturation
  • Trend analysis
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