IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people say that working from home has many benefits while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #home
It is often argued that remote working
given
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
 many benefits,
while
 others disagree.
This
 essay agrees with the former view that telecommuting has many advantages.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand,
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 home has some
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 of telecommuting.
First,
it can be very easy to get distracted if you are in your home environment.
For instance
, it is extremely tempting to turn on the television, go relax in the garden or make a personal phone call. Clearly, these distractions will dramatically reduce your productivity.
In addition
, these workers stay alone most of their working hours in their rooms and
this
 can lead to depression and
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 of loneliness.
Although
 there are strong
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 against teleworking, I still believe that working from home is a lot more comfortable for lots of people. First and foremost, employees can save a great deal of time and money since they do not have to travel so often, which means people will have more time for work and for themselves.
Moreover
, employees are under less stresses stress
a
Change preposition
from a
show examples
flexible working schedule.
For example
, if a mother has got children, she can make her household work first and
second,
she can take care of her offspring,
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
 that she can finish her work. In conclusion,
while
 there are certain
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 to claim that teleworking has many
drawback
Change to a plural noun
drawbacks
show examples
, I
am still believe
Change the verb form
still believe
show examples
 that telecommuting has many advantages.
Submitted by huuhung1962001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: