IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed their education and found jobs. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

#countries #adults #parents #education #jobs #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The increasing number of
adults
Use synonyms
 who continue their
lives
Use synonyms
 with their mom and dad occurs in some nations even though they have finished school and got a job.
This
Linking Words
 essay will illustrate the benefits and the drawbacks of
adults
Use synonyms
 who live with their
parents
Use synonyms
, and state why I personally believe that the positive impacts are greater for their
lives
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, as an adult, they are demanded to live independently and staying with their
parents
Use synonyms
 has a risk to crash in some aspects. After they finish their education and founds a job, they should be able to decide their
life
Use synonyms
's purposes. Obviously, by living with their
parents
Use synonyms
, they can not take a decision by themselves, and they have to adjust to their home parent's regulations. As for the results, they do not have an opportunity to learn how to deal with the problems.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
adults
Use synonyms
 who have married
life
Use synonyms
 and have children will get bigger benefits if they continue their
life
Use synonyms
 with their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the parent will help to look after their children with pleasure during a couple have to go to the workplace every day.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 get serenity because they are always close to their parent and ensure that they do not being lonely after they got married.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their
lives
Use synonyms
 will be going easier. In sum,
although
Linking Words
 living independently is a good opportunity for adulthood, living with
parents
Use synonyms
 will make our
lives
Use synonyms
 easier. Eventually, both the
parents
Use synonyms
 and their children who have been
adults
Use synonyms
 are jubilant and their
life
Use synonyms
 would be happier.
Submitted by anonymous on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: