IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that they must pay high taxes are necessary so that the government will have enough money to give good public services to society. others disagree.

#people #taxes #government #money #services #society
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Nowadays, some societies feel that high
taxes
 are necessary so that the
government
 will have enough
money
 to provide excellent public
services
 to
society
.
However
, some
people
 disagree with
this
 statement. I will discuss my argument on the matter. In
this
 era, most
families
 declare that high
taxes
 are necessary so that the
government
 will have enough
money
 to give good public
services
 to
society
.
This
 is because a
lot
 of
people
 think that when they pay high
taxes
 to the
government
, they hope will be given public
services
 that are good. They are not realizing that there are most
people
 who do not have enough
money
 to pay high
taxes
.
For example
, when there are poor
people
 who do not have enough
money
 for their daily life and
then
 they must pay high
taxes
 to the
government
.
Therefore
, the first argument is not suitable to be realized because there are a
lot
 of low-income in
this
country
.
On the other hand
, others
are not concur
Change the verb form
do not concur
show examples
 with
this
 opinion.
This
 is because they know that there are a
lot
 of destitute
families
 in
this
country
. The
government
 should pay attention to needy
families
 in
this
country
. they must think how the steps to make a
lot
 of
society
 become the affluent family.
For instance
, the
government
 must create a
lot
 of jobs for
society
. they must
also
 provide a
lot
 of
trains
Wrong verb form
training
show examples
 to enhance
people
's skills.
Hence
,
firstly
 the
government
 must give a
lot
 of jobs to
society
then
, after the
people
 achieve a decent standard of living, the
government
 can implement the requirement for
people
 to pay high
taxes
 so that
society
 can receive good public
services
. In conclusion, most
families
 feel that
society
 must pay high
taxes
 to get good public service,
on the other hand
, other
people
 disagree with
this
 opinion because there are a
lot
 of poor
people
 in
this
country
.
Submitted by akbarsurya264 on

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task achievement
Ensure your main points are consistently developed throughout the essay. It's essential to balance both perspectives or arguments with equal detail and expand on each one fully.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with the use of terminology that could be seen as repetitive or less precise. This can affect the coherence of your writing. Utilize varied vocabulary to express similar ideas to improve clarity and engagement.
task achievement
You've made a strong attempt to present both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy for readers to follow your argumentation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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