IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#museums #art #galleries #charge #admission #fees #entry
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In
this
 short essay
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,
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I will elaborate on the question
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of
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whether or not it is better that
museums
 and
art
 galleries
charge
admission
fees
.There are several advantages and disadvantages concerning charging an
admission
fee
 which I will try to explain. In general, I believe that
museums
 and galleries should
charge
 a
fee
 to visitors but the amount should be arranged according to the person’s situation. What I mean is that there should be a standard
fee
 for regular persons as well as special reduced
fees
 for students, small children, disabled humans and/or other types of financially vulnerable
people
. The reason for a reduced
fee
 is that a maximum amount of
people
 are able to enjoy these cultural activities because everybody has the right to experience cultural enrichment. Now I will explain why I think charging an
admission
fee
 is that important. The main reason is that
this
 will ensure that the museum or gallery will have enough funds to make sure that it stays in
an
Correct article usage
apply
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excellent condition. Because if the building and
art
 collection
declines
Fix the agreement mistake
decline
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 in time
then
 in the end nobody will be able to enjoy these cultural riches. The second reason is that if their funds will hopefully enlarge that it will give them the possibility to buy more
art
 or historical pieces for their gallery. That way they can keep expanding and will be able to safeguard our cultural inheritance. The main disadvantage, despite the existence of reduced
fees
, is that some
people
 will still have insufficient funds to afford
such
 an
admission
fee
.
Therefore
 it is maybe
a
Change the article
an
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important idea to provide free
entrance
 to very poor
people
 if they can somehow demonstrate their situation. Where I live, in Belgium, really poor
people
 have a document that proves that they don’t have a living.
Such
 documents can maybe be used to give them free
entrance
. In
Belgium
Add a comma
,Belgium
show examples
 there are different
museums
 that have
such
 an
admission
fee
 policy
such
 as the
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
show examples
of modern
art
 in Brussels. I don’t know an example that has
fees
 in . combination with a special free
entrance
 for the poor. As for as I know, most
museums
 are either entirely free or
charge
 a
fee
 but not
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 combination of these two. To summarise, I encourage
museums
 and
art
 galleries to
charge
 an
entrance
fee
according to
 a person’s profile. It should be kept free of
charge
 for those who can’t afford a normal living so that everybody has access to
this
 wonderful world of culture.
Submitted by demo_sq on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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