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Band 6.5

Essay topics: As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#topics #inventions #computer #television #people #activity #effect #health
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The advent of electronic inventions
such
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 as computers and televisions has undeniably transformed modern society, bringing both convenience and significant advancements in various fields.
However
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, these innovations have
also
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 led to a noticeable decline in physical
activity
Use synonyms
 among people, which has had adverse effects on their
health
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. In
this
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 essay, I will argue that
while
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 electronic inventions offer numerous benefits, their impact on physical
activity
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 and
health
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 is predominantly negative. The widespread use of computers and televisions has contributed to a sedentary lifestyle. Individuals spend substantial amounts of
time
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 sitting in front of screens, whether for work, entertainment, or communication.
This
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 prolonged inactivity is linked to various
health
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 issues, including obesity, cardiovascular diseases, and musculoskeletal problems.
For instance
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, many office workers spend eight or more hours a day at their desks, often with little
time
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 for exercise.
This
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 sedentary
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 is compounded by leisure activities that
also
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 involve screens,
such
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 as watching TV or playing video games.
Moreover
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, the negative
health
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 impacts of reduced physical
activity
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 are well-documented. Lack of exercise is a major risk factor for chronic conditions
such
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 as type 2 diabetes, hypertension, and certain types of cancer.
Additionally
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, physical inactivity is associated with mental
health
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 issues, including depression and anxiety. Regular physical
activity
Use synonyms
 is known to improve mood, reduce stress, and enhance cognitive function.
Therefore
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, the decrease in physical
activity
Use synonyms
due to
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 increased screen
time
Use synonyms
 has broader implications for both physical and mental well-being. In conclusion,
while
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 electronic inventions
such
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 as computers and televisions have brought significant advancements and conveniences, their contribution to a sedentary lifestyle cannot be overlooked. The reduction in physical
activity
Use synonyms
 associated with increased screen
time
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 has had detrimental effects on people's
health
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, leading to various chronic diseases and mental
health
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 issues.
Therefore
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, it is crucial to find a balance between enjoying the benefits of technology and maintaining an active lifestyle to ensure
overall
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health
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 and well-being On the one hand, I agree that people
On the other hand
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 In conclusion.
Submitted by brendaandrina on

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logical structure
One effective way to strengthen the logical structure is to employ transitional phrases that link paragraphs and ideas more clearly. These transitions can help guide the reader through your argument in a more cohesive manner.
complete response
For a more complete task response, ensure you address opposing viewpoints and consider counterarguments. This will provide a more balanced discussion and can reinforce your argument.
relevant specific examples
Including more varied and specific examples would further illustrate your points. Real-world statistics or studies related to the topic could make your arguments more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, effectively explaining the negative impact of electronic inventions on physical activity and health.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, framing the essay in a coherent manner.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported, with logical reasoning connecting your arguments about the health effects of reduced physical activity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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