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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many Countries, small shops are closing. Give your reasons about this. Is it positive or negative? Give examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

#countries #shops #experiences
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The global economy has changed widely over the
last
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 few decades. Across the world, small-size businesses are shutting down and I strongly believe that
this
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 is a negative development for any country because it will reduce the employment rates, increase the difficulties of citizens who are below the poverty line, and has an effect on the entrepreneurship of an individual.
Firstly
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, there will be a significant reduction in the employment rate especially among young adults.
For example
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, one of my school friends, who does not have a degree started working in a grocery shop to support her family, but since a huge supermarket was opened near the same shop, there was a reduction in sales and the business has been closed, so she lost her job. There are so many youngsters in our society who start working
while
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 studying in school or college, so the closing of low-scale shops will lead them to unemployment.
Secondly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 who are under the poverty margin will not be able to afford the materials or lifestyle which is led by the high scale business.
For instance
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, the rate of groceries in the local shop and supermarkets will have a significant difference since there is a difference in the amenities they provide, but poor
people
Use synonyms
 need basic necessities which they can afford.
This
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 might lead to
people
Use synonyms
 not being able to provide themselves with the facilities and it has an impact on their life.
Lastly
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, young
people
Use synonyms
 always want to try and set up their own line of work and experience entrepreneurship so that they can create occupations for others as well, but when they start their profession with a small opening they will tend to experience more setbacks
due to
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 competition with bigger companies.
This
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 might lead to losing their spirit to build their own career on their own. There are
also
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 some positive impacts like expanding the particular brand might lead to an increase in the country's economy,
people
Use synonyms
 can be exposed to a variety of high-end products, and providing a wider platform for youngsters. All in all, it can be said that some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that low-end companies are closing and I agree that
this
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 is negative growth universally.
Due to
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this
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, there will decline in employment, the suffering of poor
people
Use synonyms
, and the loss of business-minded young adults. Even though there are some positive aspects, the negative aspects outweigh the previous
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Submitted by lakshanakg3 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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