IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

#noise #places #cities
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As
cities
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 are becoming crowded and excessively urbanised the amount of
noise
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 they produce is starting to distract many of their inhabitants. Even parks and green
areas
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 no longer serve their purpose as quiet places.
Although
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 it may seem that the problem cannot be solved, there are a number of measures that can help in decreasing
noise
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 levels in urbanised
areas
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. One of the most prevalent reasons for increased
noise
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 in
cities
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 is their overcrowded nature, which is becoming, even more, the case as time progresses.
According to
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 surveys, the Earth's population in the 21st century is increasing at twice the rate of the previous century.
This
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 is causing the construction of more apartments and houses in metropolises to accommodate residents.
Moreover
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, as a popular and convenient spot for living, capitals are increasingly driving people from rural
areas
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,
further
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 increasing their overcrowdedness.
As a result
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 of
this
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 high concentration of population,
noise
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 pollution is becoming more common even in public places.
While
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 expelling people to rural
areas
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 cannot be considered, there are other more ethical solutions to
this
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 problem.
For example
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,
cities
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 can create
noise
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-free
areas
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 in the form of parks and fields, which are equipped with special banners and signs promoting calm behaviour. These places would serve as a perfect environment for those citizens who want to spend time alone or with their families. Another more expensive solution would be to improve rural
areas
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 to encourage people to stay in their hometowns.
Although
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 doing so requires a high level of authority and financial resources,
this
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 would be the most effective solution in making
cities
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 less overcrowded, which
consequently
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 leads to decreased levels of
noise
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. In a nutshell,
due to
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 the high concentration of population,
cities
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 will always be exposed to more
noise
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 than rural
areas
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.
However
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, certain measures,
such
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 as opening
noise
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-free spaces and creating more facilities in rural
areas
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 can help to mitigate the problem.
Submitted by jaker.raimov on

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task response
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the causes and solutions to the problem of noise in urban areas. More specific examples and evidence could be included to support the main points.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the connection between ideas could be strengthened by using more cohesive devices and transitions to guide the reader through the arguments.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses appropriate words and phrases to convey the ideas effectively. To enhance the lexical resource further, consider incorporating more varied vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is generally strong, with varied sentence structures and accurate use of tenses. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence structures and minor errors in punctuation and article usage that could be improved.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • urbanization
  • population density
  • traffic congestion
  • infrastructure development
  • public announcement systems
  • street performances
  • noise regulations
  • soundproof materials
  • public transportation
  • designated quiet zones
  • green spaces
  • buffer zones
  • public awareness
  • community efforts
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