It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In our fast-paced and ever-changing world, the ability to distinguish right from wrong is a vital necessity for offspring. Some people believe
punishment
Use synonyms
, including corporal
punishment
Use synonyms
, is a universal and effective technic to develop
such
Linking Words
skills. It is disagreed that
this
Linking Words
method is a good choice since the drawbacks far outweigh the benefits.
This
Linking Words
essay will shed some light on the issue and provide several arguments to support the thesis.
To begin
Linking Words
with, it is not so practical to 'train' kids like dogs or dolphins.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
punishment
Use synonyms
approach may exert severe pressure on unprepared minds and cause mental disorders in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
a study conducted at the University of North Carolina in 2008, wards with strict parents, prone to scold their kids over everything, displayed less impressive results in sports and education in comparison with the control group. In general, strict upbringing is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very controversial, but modern scientific studies teach parents to be supportive if they want stellar results. So, it is a brilliant idea to alter the approach.
In addition
Linking Words
, new studying methods, proved by numerous researchers throughout the globe, gave adults great tools to grow successful and happy descendants without too much effort.
For example
Linking Words
, forty-two S.T.E.A.M. (Science, Tech, Engineering, Art and Maths) schools, based on Maria Montessory's theories, in the U.S., are trying to find out and develop children's innate talents to make their studying process personal-oriented and enjoyable.
According to
Linking Words
the results schools have received over the
last
Linking Words
five years,
such
Linking Words
a way gave the kids an advantage on national exams and reduced scolding and shouting in the families to the minimum.
That is
Linking Words
why it is an exciting idea to help offspring find their unique way of studying compared to traditional learning methods.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that medieval methods with corporal
punishment
Use synonyms
and swearing are no longer in use. Parents should invest time and money to meet new, modern requirements and be better teachers for their toddlers. It will not only help them to bring up successful and mentally healthy descendants but
also
Linking Words
prevent them from losing their nerve cells during the upbringing process.
Submitted by 8453525 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay does touch upon the question of whether punishment is necessary, it falls short of providing a balanced view. You need to ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay. In addition, explore both sides of the argument, even if you choose to argue more strongly for one side. This would improve your score for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The logical structuring of your essay needs more clarity. Make sure to create clear and cohesive arguments by structuring them into separate paragraphs with topic sentences. This should be followed by supporting details and examples where necessary. Additionally, try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and concepts throughout your essay more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: