It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In our fast-paced and ever-changing world, the ability to distinguish right from wrong is a vital necessity for offspring. Some people believe
punishment
, including corporal punishment
, is a universal and effective technic to develop such
skills. It is disagreed that this
method is a good choice since the drawbacks far outweigh the benefits. This
essay will shed some light on the issue and provide several arguments to support the thesis.
To begin
with, it is not so practical to 'train' kids like dogs or dolphins. Moreover
, the punishment
approach may exert severe pressure on unprepared minds and cause mental disorders in the future. For instance
, according to
a study conducted at the University of North Carolina in 2008, wards with strict parents, prone to scold their kids over everything, displayed less impressive results in sports and education in comparison with the control group. In general, strict upbringing is a
very controversial, but modern scientific studies teach parents to be supportive if they want stellar results. So, it is a brilliant idea to alter the approach.
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In addition
, new studying methods, proved by numerous researchers throughout the globe, gave adults great tools to grow successful and happy descendants without too much effort. For example
, forty-two S.T.E.A.M. (Science, Tech, Engineering, Art and Maths) schools, based on Maria Montessory's theories, in the U.S., are trying to find out and develop children's innate talents to make their studying process personal-oriented and enjoyable. According to
the results schools have received over the last
five years, such
a way gave the kids an advantage on national exams and reduced scolding and shouting in the families to the minimum. That is
why it is an exciting idea to help offspring find their unique way of studying compared to traditional learning methods.
To sum up
, it can be clearly seen that medieval methods with corporal punishment
and swearing are no longer in use. Parents should invest time and money to meet new, modern requirements and be better teachers for their toddlers. It will not only help them to bring up successful and mentally healthy descendants but also
prevent them from losing their nerve cells during the upbringing process.Submitted by 8453525 on
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task achievement
While your essay does touch upon the question of whether punishment is necessary, it falls short of providing a balanced view. You need to ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay. In addition, explore both sides of the argument, even if you choose to argue more strongly for one side. This would improve your score for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The logical structuring of your essay needs more clarity. Make sure to create clear and cohesive arguments by structuring them into separate paragraphs with topic sentences. This should be followed by supporting details and examples where necessary. Additionally, try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and concepts throughout your essay more effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?