Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss these both views and give your own opinion.

Many people opine that it is beneficial for children to become competitive individuals as opposed to cooperative ones,
whereas
others have reservations about
this
statement. In
this
essay, I will elaborate on both sides of the argument and propose my opinion. On the one hand, there is no doubt that a
sense
of competition plays a pivotal role in today's rapid age of modernization. As a matter of fact, if the child was put into a tournament to compete with others, he will be exposed to the challenging situation and discover all the potential abilities.
For instance
, take my nephew Tom as an example,
initially
, at the age of seven, he was a shy person who was passionate about singing.
However
, he prefers doing everything at his own pace without others meddling and watching. After participating in several singing contests, he gained more confidence in his talent and ends up being a trainee at YG Entertainment in Korea.
On the other hand
, since some competitive youngsters tend to have negative behaviour, which can lead to aggressive attitudes, schools and parents should engage with each other to increase the youth's
sense
of belonging through teamwork activities. To be specific, some projects or volunteer programs should be implemented in groups to help children adapt to new environments as long as ways to interact with different types of personalities.
As a result
, young individuals can feel content in any struggling
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
whether it is by themselves or with their teammates. In brief, it seems to me that a combination of both viewpoints could be the most appropriate solution. The kids should have a
sense
of competition to grow through daily challenges and be cable of being a part of the community to increase their
sense
of belonging.
Submitted by nguyenvutrucmy on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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