Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #change #experiences #lives

Some humans enjoy changing their routines and love to do new

experiences

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

others don't like it . In

this

essay I will discuss both sides

then

I will move on to give my own view . There are lots of benefits to having a new

experience

. First of all , it is good for the brain to see new things and learn a lot of information from new

experiences

Additionally

Add a comma

,Additionally

show examples

it is healthy to change your routine and to be active in life .

For instance

, my sister and I had horse lessons in Cardiff and it was a magical

experience

, and we learnt about horses .

Secondly

, you might find new skills that don't know you are amazing at .

Instead

of staying in bed and using your phone. But , there are drawbacks one of them is some

experiences

are a bit expensive and after you pay it . You found it boring . The second reason , some

experiences

are dangerous for your body and you might die

such

as hiking and free jumping. The

last

reason is some

experience

wasting time . In conclusion , when you have a new

experience

you will have a mount of ideas in your life .

although

, sometimes is dangerous and some

experiences

waste time .

Submitted by maryamabugela on Sun May 21 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

219 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear uniform. Think about jobs where uniform is important. What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform?

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

In general, people do not have such a close relationship with their neighbours as they did in the past. Why is this so, and what can be done to improve contact between neighbours?

The Government is spending a lot of money to discover life on other planets. Some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problems of public. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?