All over the world , societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #children #adults #rise

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Nowadays,

obesity

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has become a serious problem and more and more

people

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have been affected by

this

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This

Linking Words

essay will explore the reasons for

this

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and how it be solved.

To begin

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with, a reason for

obesity

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is fast-food consumption. These days are extremely common that

people

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do not have much time to cook

Remove the comma

apply

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because they are working a lot. Even,

for

Linking Words

this

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reason

Add a comma

,reason

show examples

parents give money to their children for school. So, it is easier they are buying fast food.

Firstly

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, a solution for

this

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is that

people

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to reduce fast food consumption by doing healthy meals at home,

buying

Correct word choice

and buying

show examples

their own ingredients like vegetables and fruit.

Furthermore

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, companies and schools could offer healthy menus too without many calories.

On the other hand

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, another reason is

people

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do not do enough

exercise

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. They have a sedentary lifestyle because they prefer to stay at home watching tv or playing games

instead

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of doing some

exercise

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. Companies could offer courses to raise awareness about how important is doing

exercise

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in our

life

Replace the word

lives

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and how

prevent

Add the particle

to prevent

show examples

obesity

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. Or have time to do activities and encourage workers to have healthier habits. Another good option is

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

governments to implement machines in public spaces for

people

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who cannot pay

Change preposition

for a

show examples

gym.

Finally

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, schools could take some measures like

offer

Wrong verb form

offering

show examples

more activities in their schedule to students.

To sum up

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, there are some solutions to affront

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

obesity

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like healthy food or doing

exercise

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. I believe that it is extremely important that

people

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can be conscious

about

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show examples

obesity

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otherwise

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it is a problem has become bigger in the future.

Submitted by acostacamila255 on Sun May 21 2023

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Overweight
Epidemic
Sedentary
Processed food
Fast food
Nutritional education
Awareness
Stress
Emotional eating
Genetic factors
Access
Healthy food options
Marketing
Urbanization
Lifestyles

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All over the world , societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Your opinion

in many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is appopriate use of government money?

a person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social and material possessions. old- fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

You recieved a letter from your friend that his elderly parents are visiting in your city. Which places they should visit Where should they live Invite them to do something with you

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?