at the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Generally It has huge positive sides.
amount
of Add an article
the amount
people
in the world are
Change the verb form
is
incresing
little by little. So look to compare Correct your spelling
increasing
between
old Change preposition
apply
people
and young adults, in many countries youngsters percentage higher than adults. In my opinionAdd a comma
,
Firstly
, one of the advantage
is a human resource is getting better in a lot of countries. It is included by Change to a plural noun
advantages
people
, who are more youngster
, creative, and powerful. Replace the word
young
For
example
nowadays some Add a comma
,example
companies
work application requires that must be more Change noun form
company's
companies'
less
Correct word choice
or less
30
years old. Especially it's often happening in industry and mining in my country.
Change preposition
than 30
Secondly
, It's impact
on the Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
economical
situation well Replace the word
economic
such
as older people
want
to care more than the Wrong verb form
wanting
people
in the age of work from the government. Also
must give to
them, that pension and some relief. Considering that youngsters want to take the equal Change preposition
apply
oppertunity
from them.
Correct your spelling
opportunity
Conclusion
, recently considering that humans Change preposition
In conclusion
more
less than caders. In my opinion that Change the word
apply
infomation
is a lot of Correct your spelling
information
benefit
in some Change to a plural noun
benefits
country
.Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite