it is very important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. to what exent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

It is commonly argued that
punishment
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is vital for the development of
children
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's personality at an early age. Personally, I agree with using
punishment
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in teaching , but parents and teachers must clearly consider the consequences before executing. To be clear, I approve of the efficiency in teaching kids at early ages by using
punishment
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as a deterrent. If
punishment
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is used in an appropriate way, not only can it let
children
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know their fault , but
also
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let them know what consequences they will face.
For example
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, there was a child who made fun of a cancer patient in his class, and after a teacher reported to his dad, he decided to cut all his son's hair off to make him acknowledge his guilt and the feelings of those patients. With some good corrections, every child can greatly enhance their behaviour and develop morality from a young age. But all sorts of
punishment
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must have some limit to be used on youngsters. The most popular and efficient way of punishing is dealing physical damage to
children
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. But sometimes
this
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kind of
punishment
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is neither for deterring nor teaching , but mainly to cool down adults' anger.
This
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scenario does not usually appear;
however
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, when it happens, it is quite easy to be uncontrolably brutal, causing permanent damage to the kid.
For instance
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, in 2013, a kindergarten accidentally killed a boy, as the teacher hit him with a metal pot on his head. That teacher is currently in charge of unintentional murder and leaving a detrimental impact on his family. In conclusion, I agree that using
punishment
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as a lesson for
children
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is necessary in educating
children
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.
Therefore
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, a limit must be put down before any unwanted consequences happen to kids.

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task response
Task response: Your view is clear — punishment has a role but with limits. To raise this score, add more good ideas, show how you would use other ways to guide kids, and give simple, clear examples that fit a usual school setting.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph should have one main idea. Start with a clear sentence that links to your view. Use words like first, next, but, however, and so to show flow. Keep sentences short and easy.
language
Language: fix small grammar and mark errors. Use simple form. Check spellings and spaces. For example, 'uncontrollably' not 'uncontrolably', 'consequences' with 's'.
structure
Clear stance and basic essay shape (intro, body, conclusion).
content
Uses examples and a final idea to support the view.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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