IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #alternatives
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Nowadays, more and more people are trying to cope with using
animals
Use synonyms
 in laboratories for scientific purposes.
Hovewer
Correct your spelling
However
, there are
also
Linking Words
 individuals, who claim that
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 development can be achieved only in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of doing
experiments
Use synonyms
 on varied creatures. I will explain why it should be prevented by authorities and propose some alternatives.
To begin
Linking Words
, the government have to prone
animals
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 and consider any
experipents
Correct your spelling
experiments
experience
 as a crime. Science labours based on
tortures
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torture
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 and murders regard to
animals
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 should be banned for moral principles as humanity have to respect varied forms of life and treat them respectfully to create a
piecefull
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peaceful
 world. To prove, children, who have pets are less likely to be cruel in adulthood, which means that taking care of
animals
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 can have a positive
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
affect
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effect
show examples
 on people There
is
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are
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 a
couple
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ofcouple
show examples
 alternative ways to aim
progress
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for progress
show examples
 without victims. People can make
experiments
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 on dead
animals
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, or create theories do discoveries with predictions, as there is a lot of information in open space, which can be sufficient.
For example
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, pupils at schools
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
no more learn anatomy with frogs as there are a lot of illustrates, videos and information about them in books and
from
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on
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
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Internet
show examples
, which can
provides
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provide
show examples
 them with more
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 without killing someone. In conclusion,
experiments
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 with different creatures have to be put under restriction because of moral principles,
wereas
Correct your spelling
where
 scientists need to seek
another ways
Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
show examples
 to test products and make
investigation
Fix the agreement mistake
investigations
show examples
,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 create theories and prove
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using previous knowledge and
experiments
Use synonyms
 to achieve success.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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