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Band 5

In today's world, people are purchasing more than what they need. Is this a positive or a negative trend? Give your opinion with reasons and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#world #people #trend
Nowadays some
people
 try to live a minimalist lifestyle. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 there are
others
 who spend
money
 on unnecessary
things
,
due to
 the fact that lack of management skills.
This
 has lots of demerits than merits. Because wasting
money
 badly affects the future. The first thing which happens if we buy unnecessary
things
, the purse will be empty as soon as possible. In every moment
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our ,lives we need a master plan, even in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shopping
also
. There are a lot of
things
 that attract us to buy
this
 thing and buy that thing. If we go shopping without thinking about what we want, our minds cheat us.
For instance
, once we faced, highly increasing prices of consumer goods,
then
people
 came to the supermarkets and bought everything they need or not. But after a few months, prices decreased and those who stock lots of goods wasted their
money
. To tackle
this
 problem I think following a list is a good solution.If we have a list of
things
 to buy,
this
 is really helpful to buy only necessary
things
.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 I think
people
 buy goods to show their status to
others
. If it is not why do they waste their valuable
money
 on unnecessary
things
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 They buy everything and fill up their stores and again they shop and again fill the stores. In
this
 ,process
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be a lot of wastage. There are the majority of
people
 suffering from poverty and they don't know how to complete their daily super.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 that, lot of orphanages and elderly homes asking for
money
 for supplying
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tea. ,
Actually
Add a comma
,Actually
show examples
 I believe
people
 must change their mindset and try to think about
others
. If we start to think about
others
 hungry
this
 world becomes a more beautiful place than now.
To conclude
, I think
this
 trend is not a good development and it is time to stop wasting on unsuitable purchasing.
Submitted by pmmadushani123 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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