IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influ-ence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

#research #characteristics #influ-ence #personality #development #experiences #life #influence
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Our personality is the final result of different aspects. Various studies show that a human's genetic characteristics cause major effects on his/her individuality
instead
Linking Words
 of what they learn from daily
life
Use synonyms
 experiences. In my opinion, our
life
Use synonyms
-long actions and experiences teach us more than anything else and I will discuss my point of view in the upcoming paragraphs very briefly. Starting with, our birth characteristics are something which we got passed on from our parents and they can be changed or manipulated as we deal with different phases of our lives. It becomes very easy to amend what we used to think once we face extreme circumstances regarding a specific incident.
For instance
Linking Words
, my cousin was born with no eyesight and the majority of people including him were disappointed as doctors were unable to treat his medical condition but as he joined the school and did a plethora of research on his blindness, he got exposure to new ideas and activities which gave a different meaning to his
life
Use synonyms
. Just because he was able to dive in and find other individuals with the same conditions, he became so passionate in
life
Use synonyms
. Moving forward,
this
Linking Words
 is not mandatory that what we believe in since birth is always true. When we actually face the circumstances, we encounter a huge number of real-
life
Use synonyms
 experiences, only
then
Linking Words
 we can decide whether we should adopt a specific idea or let it go. When we surrender our minds and souls to all kinds of activities we can discover our personalities by being a part of the process
instead
Linking Words
 of just adopting what our ancestors passed on to us which might not work the same way as they did for them. In conclusion, being categorized among the curious creatures of the planet, I prefer to keep myself available for random circumstances and give them a chance to convince me for believing in something new. Nobody can predict when
life
Use synonyms
 could throw extraordinary stuff in their path and influence them with something which they use to consider as a myth or fiction.
Submitted by 12jasmeenkaur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: