The number of people who are fat and overweight are much higher than previous generations. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve this problem?

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Contrary to popular beliefs, obesity is not always associated with over-consumption of

foods

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as disrupted metabolism can

also

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be the culprit. The research found that modern society has more tendency to suffer from metabolic syndromes, compared to the older generations who are prone to malnutrition.

This

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essay will discuss one of the reasons behind

this

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statement and ways to fix it.

Firstly

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, the sophisticated food technology and genetic manipulations of crops and livestock create long-lasting canned meals for massive distributions from the factory, which is not essentially good for the consumer.

For instance

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, the concerning quantity of chemical additives is found in most of the ready-to-serve

foods

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from convenience stores, which are consumed by a great number of people.

Consequently

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, these added ingredients can cause long-term metabolic issues, namely obesity.

Thus

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, if

this

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unhealthy intake is sustained, it will create a serious degradation of the public's health conditions.

Nonetheless

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this

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phenomenon can be tackled by shunning factory-made meals and clinging to fresh ingredients that are usually found in traditional markets.

For example

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, in spite of choosing canned meats from supermarkets that are conditioned to

last

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for months, it is better to choose fresh meat from a local slaughterhouse to ensure its quality.

This

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solution not only prevents society from toxic additives in processed

foods

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that cause obesity but

also

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other chronic diseases

such

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as coronary heart disease and kidney failure. In conclusion, unhealthy metabolism occurs because of large demands for processed

foods

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Therefore

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, it is best to stick with natural food components rather than risk ourselves with dangerous diseases that might follow.

Finally

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, technology does not always come with benefits as it can

also

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create doom,

hence

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why society needs to be a wise consumer to avoid them.

Submitted by pink panther on Wed Jan 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence and should follow with sentences that are directly related to the main point of the paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Develop your ideas fully by explaining your points more thoroughly. Try to connect paragraphs using appropriate linking words and to create a logical progression of ideas from one sentence to the next.

task achievement

While your essay addresses the topic, it's important to provide a fuller response to all parts of the task. Make sure that each question is thoroughly answered and that your essay covers both causes and solutions adequately.

task achievement

Add more examples that are directly relevant to the points you make to strengthen your argument. Including personal experiences, data, or well-known examples can help illustrate your points and make your essay more convincing.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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The number of people who are fat and overweight are much higher than previous generations. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve this problem?

Shopping is the favourite pastime of most of the young people. Why is this the case? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities in their free time?

Some people think that success in life coms from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. What are the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles?

Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care, some say the walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.