IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
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There are differences of opinion on how to build transportation networks in each administration. Some experts believe that it is better to invest in
rail
Correct article usage
a rail
show examples
 transport system but
on the other
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 some believe that road networks will be a better option. In my opinion, trains are
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 choice since they are more controllable and much safer than trucks and cars
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there are problems
such
Linking Words
 as lack of accessibility and high cost but I think they are solvable if we plan well. To defend the advantages of railways, we can mention two strong reasons.
First,
Linking Words
trains are more controllable than other vehicles. They don't lose their ways and their destination is predictable. You can plan in
optimum
Change the article
an optimum
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 way and control the traffic since all possibilities are under your control by handling train speed and access
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
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 on railways.
Second,
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the probability of
accident
Add an article
an accident
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 is extremely low. You limit the degree of freedom by rails
in addition
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 to using
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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 brake system. So, you can keep your passengers and products safe and transport them quickly. You have everything you need for a good transportation system. From another perspective, there are two worries about rail routes.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we can mention their flexibility. They have some fixed roads and
as a result
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, they can't have
a
Remove the article
apply
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good flexibility in unpredictable
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 for changing
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
 or returning back to
origin
Correct pronoun usage
their origin
show examples
.
Secondly
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, if we want to make it more reachable, it will be expensive compared to road construction. The financial expenses of building rails are 70% higher than asphalt. In
time
Correct article usage
the time
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 cost view, the manufacturing and installation of rails is
also
Linking Words
 more time-consuming. Investing in railways has some advantages and disadvantages. In my view,
this
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 choice would be beneficial
according to
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 the fact that it's greatly safe and quick and if we have to pay more money and spend more hours
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 that, we can compensate
it
Change preposition
for it
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 over time through economic exploitation.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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