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Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefit, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #humans #animals #benefit #rights
When exploiting animals for our needs is discussed, people may have discrepancy paradigms. Some societies may have a notion that numerous
species
 can be exploited for our needs,
while
 others advocate that every living creature has rights which should be respected. In the following paragraphs, both paradigms will be detailed and I will detail why the first idea is required.
To begin
 with, a number of fields in science cannot be ameliorated without using nonhuman
species
.
For instance
, before new medicines will be sold, they should be tested in mice as a way to track several implications which can exist. It is allowed by bioethics which rules that human participants should be minimized for drug testing.
Consequently
, pharmaceuticals as an essential subject in our lives have to use pets to identify comprehensively their items.
In other words
, if the earlier occasion is banned, we cannot reach massive progression in the medical industry.
In contrast
, multitudinous activists argue that exerting creatures like mice should be disallowed
due to
 all
species
 may feel pain. From
this
 point, they advocate that every animal has rights which should be obeyed.
As a result
, the existence of some
species
 in the laboratory which will be sacrificed for science is a mistake.
Moreover
,
this
 opinion believes that several industries which use animal features like fashion manufacturers which process crocodile skin have to be forbidden.
For example
, some animal lover communities in Indonesia asked the government to reconstruct comprehensive policies which would concern bioethics.
To conclude
,
although
, there are animal rights which need to be concerned,
nevertheless
, without exploiting other creatures for human needs, some fields like pharmaceuticals cannot progress massively,
in other
words
Add the comma(s)
,words
show examples
 that action is still needed for our lives.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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