Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years,
tourism
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has become one of the largest sources of revenue for governments worldwide.
While
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some
people
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argue that
tourism
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only brings economic benefits, I firmly disagree with
this
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view, as the travel industry encourages cultural dilution and environmental degradation, impacts that are often overlooked.
To begin
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with, many residents overlook the fact that
tourism
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activities are eroding their cultural heritage. Promoters and entrepreneurs usually facilitate changes to authentic traditions to attract more tourists, leading to cultural loss.
For example
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, in Oman, numerous events show local culture in a completely different way, as local
people
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want to ensure their traditions suit foreigners.
As a result
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, immense damage has occurred to Omani heritage, much of which has already been forgotten. These adverse effects can be minimised only if
people
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take
this
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issue seriously, preserving and promoting their legacy rather than hiding or showcasing a small part of it.
Furthermore
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, another significant concern that
people
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always neglect is the environmental impact, which is driven by the
tourism
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industry's hosting of several events that generate carbon dioxide emissions. If foreign individuals are allowed to engage in harmful activities,
such
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as parasailing, jet skiing, and parachuting, which have ecological impacts, they would eventually destroy the natural and stunning landscapes.
Consequently
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, strict regulations, including fines, bans, or punishments, should be imposed on visitors who violate the law and harm the environment.
To conclude
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,
although
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tourism
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significantly increases economic gains, I am convinced that it poses substantial risks both to local culture and to the ecosystem.

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task response
Make your view clear from the start and add stronger facts. Say more on why tourism harms culture and nature, and give clear links to the task.
coherence cohesion
Improve flow by making one main idea per paragraph and add good links between ideas. Make sure every paragraph has a clear point and a quick end.
task response
You show a clear position against the idea.
coherence cohesion
Good overall structure with intro, body and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Two clear examples of harm from tourism are given.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural dilution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Responsible tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Cultural conservation
  • Habitat destruction
  • Sustainable practices
  • Cultural exchange
  • Commercialization of cultural sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Local ecosystems
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