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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Some people say that international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In contemporary society, international
tourism
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 has emerged as the largest global industry, attracting millions of people worldwide.
While
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 some argue that
this
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 phenomenon fosters tension rather than mutual understanding among diverse cultures, I strongly agree that its potential for enhancing cross-cultural appreciation outweighs the associated conflicts. Proponents of the view that
tourism
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 incites tension often point to instances of cultural insensitivity,
such
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 as
tourists
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 failing to respect local customs or engaging in behaviours deemed inappropriate by host communities.
For instance
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, excessive drinking by vacationers can lead to public disturbances and resentment from residents.
Moreover
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, the commercialization of sacred sites can sometimes trivialize cultural significance, prompting disputes between
tourists
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 and locals. These examples illustrate how international
tourism
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 can, at times, exacerbate cultural misunderstandings and frictions.
Conversely
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, the transformative potential of international
tourism
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 cannot be overlooked. By providing opportunities for individuals to interact with those from different backgrounds,
tourism
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 can serve as a powerful catalyst for cultural exchange and understanding. Engaging with foreign customs, languages, and traditions encourages
tourists
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 to expand their worldviews and fosters appreciation for diversity. Countries like Japan and Italy, renowned for their rich cultural heritage, often see
tourists
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 returning with newfound respect and admiration for these local traditions.
Furthermore
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,
tourism
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 can contribute significantly to local economies, facilitating development projects that promote cultural preservation and education.
This
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 economic incentive encourages host nations to embrace and celebrate their unique identities, potentially mitigating the tensions that arise from cultural interactions. In summary,
while
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 it is undeniable that international
tourism
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 can occasionally lead to tensions through cultural misunderstanding, the
overall
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 impact of
tourism
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 on fostering cross-cultural appreciation and understanding is profoundly positive. As globalization continues to shape our interconnected world, it is imperative that both
tourists
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 and host communities engage in mutual respect and education to enhance the enriching experiences that international
tourism
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 offers.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a single clear idea and avoid overly complex sentence structures that might confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Consider incorporating more transitional phrases to ensure even smoother connections between paragraphs.
task achievement
Further emphasize your stance in the conclusion by summarizing the main supporting points to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
Address potential counterarguments more explicitly; this could strengthen your position by demonstrating critical evaluation.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as the mention of countries like Japan and Italy, effectively illustrate your points.
task achievement
You provide a balanced perspective by acknowledging and addressing opposing views, enhancing the essay's depth.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • economic boost
  • revenue generation
  • job creation
  • language barriers
  • cultural misunderstandings
  • stereotypes
  • preconceived notions
  • environmental degradation
  • friction
  • cultural erosion
  • local traditions.
  • customs
  • international visitors
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