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Writing Samples
Band 6

Today’s fresh food like vegetables or fruits travels thousands of miles from the rural areas or farms before it reaches customers in cities or urban areas. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

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It is said that nowadays
crops
 like vegetables and fruits are
travelled
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 a long distance from countries to purchasers in towns or cities. The reason is that farmland requires enormous space. I think
this
 is a negative trend because fresh food might lose its
quality
 and affect the environment. The cause of a long distance
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 fresh food is that growing
crops
 generally need a lot of space, so it makes sense that
farmers
 need to grow their
crops
 in the countryside because these places have much land with good
quality
 soil, so
crops
 can grow well and get effective results. I feel that it may affect the
quality
 of
crops
 if
farmers
 have to spend too much time on transport.
This
 is a natural of fresh vegetables or fruits since their
quality
 can be good within a limited time.
For instance
, strawberry is a sensitive fruit and requires much effort. If
farmers
 were careless about
this
 problem, it could destroy before arriving customers.
In addition
, it can affect the environment along the way.
Farmers
 might use cars or other means of transport, so the carbon released from those transports can lead to air pollution. It is not only bad for our breath but
also
 pollutes the air. In conclusion, the reason for
this
 trend is that most
crops
 are grown in countries and should be
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 and sold in cities. I believe
this
 is a negative development as that food might lose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
 and nutrients, and it can lead to air pollution.
Submitted by sedfrtgt on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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