The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced
The diagram illustrates the stages in which dairy and its derivatives are manufactured.
Overall
, it is clearly observed that there are eight steps which proceed from the rearing of cows to the production, Linking Words
then
transportation of dairy and Linking Words
finally
to the supermarket and shops.
Linking Words
Firstly
, cows are reared on grasses, Linking Words
then
the milking machine works twice a day and the product is stored in the refrigerator. Afterwards, the milk is conveyed daily through the milk tanker and it is delivered to the dairy.
Again, some of Linking Words
this
milk is used for cheese, cream and butter Linking Words
while
the remaining are pasteurized and packaged. Linking Words
Finally
, the latter is taken to the supermarkets and shops.Linking Words
Submitted by oludayotemilade on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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