The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced
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The diagram illustrates the stages in which dairy and its derivatives are manufactured.
Overall
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, it is clearly observed that there are eight steps which proceed from the rearing of cows to the production,
then
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transportation of dairy and
finally
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to the supermarket and shops.
Firstly
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, cows are reared on grasses,
then
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the milking machine works twice a day and the product is stored in the refrigerator. Afterwards, the milk is conveyed daily through the milk tanker and it is delivered to the dairy. Again, some of
this
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milk is used for cheese, cream and butter
while
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the remaining are pasteurized and packaged.
Finally
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, the latter is taken to the supermarkets and shops.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • milking machines
  • containers
  • refrigerated trucks
  • pasteurization
  • homogenization
  • separation
  • standardization
  • cream
  • skim milk
  • fat content
  • packaging
  • cartons
  • bottles
  • dairy processing plant
  • quality control
  • safety and quality standards
  • distribution
  • retailers
  • grocery stores
  • vendors
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