some say that music, art and drama are as important as school subjects, especially at the primary level. do you agree or disagree?

The shift towards remote
work
and
education
facilitated by the widespread availability and affordability of technology represents a significant transformation in modern life.
This
development carries both positive and negative aspects, and its
overall
impact depends on various factors. On the positive side, working from home offers adults increased flexibility and autonomy, allowing for a better
work
-life balance. It can lead to reduced commuting times, which not only saves money but
also
contributes to lower carbon emissions and less environmental pollution.
Moreover
, remote
work
can potentially create a more inclusive workforce, as individuals with disabilities or those living in remote areas have greater opportunities to participate in the job market.
Similarly
, remote learning provides students with the ability to access educational resources from anywhere, breaking down geographical barriers and offering personalized learning experiences.
This
mode of
education
can cater to different learning styles and paces, potentially improving student engagement and outcomes.
Additionally
, it allows for a more adaptable and resilient
education
system, less susceptible to disruptions caused by events like natural disasters or pandemics.
However
, there are notable drawbacks to
this
shift. Working from home can blur the boundaries between professional and personal life, leading to potential burnout and decreased productivity for some individuals. The lack of face-to-face interaction may
also
hinder collaboration and team cohesion, affecting
overall
job satisfaction and performance.
Furthermore
, not everyone has access to a conducive home environment for
work
, which can exacerbate inequalities. In terms of
education
, remote learning might deepen the digital divide, as students from low-income families may lack access to necessary technology or a quiet study space.
This
disparity can contribute to educational inequalities and hinder the learning experience for those most in need of support. In conclusion,
while
the increased accessibility of technology has enabled significant advances in both remote
work
and
education
, the
overall
impact of these changes is complex. It is essential to address the challenges and inequalities associated with
this
shift to maximize the benefits and ensure that these developments contribute positively to society.
Submitted by khushichhillar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Ensure to use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the richness of your writing.
depth
Include more specific examples or case studies to further strengthen your main points.
structure
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
balance
You have effectively addressed both positive and negative aspects of remote work and education, providing a balanced perspective.
support
The main points are well-supported and logically presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: