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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced. Summarise the information by selecting the reporting the main features .

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced. Summarise the information by selecting the reporting the main features .
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A pictorial illustration of
milk
Use synonyms
 manufacturing and its derivatives.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are eight steps in
this
Linking Words
 process of
milk
Use synonyms
 production.
The first step is
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cow grazing which occurs on the farm. The cattle are well-fed till maturation for adequate
milk
Use synonyms
 extraction.
Milk
Use synonyms
 is collected twice daily using a machine, which delivers daily in a tanker to the
dairy
Use synonyms
. At the
dairy
Use synonyms
milk
Use synonyms
 is converted to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
cheese, cream and butter.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 pasteurization and packaging
occurs
Change the verb form
occur
show examples
 at the
dairy
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the end process is the dispatch of the
dairy
Use synonyms
 products, to the final consumer which is made through sales in the supermarkets and shops.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, dairy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 0 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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