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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph illustrates the amount of waste produced by three companies during 15 years. It can observed that over this period number for a and b companies hit the highest points.

The graph illustrates the amount of waste produced by three companies during 15 years. It can observed that over this period number for a and b companies hit the highest points.
#amount #waste #three #companies #years #period #b #points
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The graph illustrates the amount of
waste
Use synonyms
 produced by three companies
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 15 years. It can
observed
Change the verb form
be observed
show examples
 that over
this
Linking Words
 period number for a and
b
Use synonyms
 companies hit the highest points. Beginning with the growth figures in 2000
company
Use synonyms
 A hit the highest
point
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 12
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 accounted for 4
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and experienced the lowest
point
Use synonyms
 in 2000. From 2000 to 2005
company
Use synonyms
 A
drammatically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 decreased to 10
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the figures
show examples
figures
Fix the agreement mistake
figure
show examples
 for
company
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 was 11
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
. But,
company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 was around 6
tonnes
Use synonyms
. Turning to the other sectors, from 2005 to 2010. In 2010
company
Use synonyms
 A
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
 stop
to decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
company
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 started to decrease
drammatically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 almost like
company
Use synonyms
 A. But,
numbers
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
 for
company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 experienced the highest
point
Use synonyms
 about 10
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
company
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 was 7
tonnes
Use synonyms
, and
company
Use synonyms
 A was around 8.
in
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 2015
company
Use synonyms
a
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
 slightly decreased to 7 and was almost stabilized from 2015.
However
Linking Words
, trends for
company
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B
Use synonyms
 hit the lowest
point
Use synonyms
 about 3
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
 and stabilized. And
company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 increased and experienced the highest
point
Use synonyms
 about 10
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, from 2000 to 2005
company
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 was the highest
point
Use synonyms
. But from 2010 to 2015
company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 experienced the highest
point
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tukezaliyeva96 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words waste, b, company, point, tonnes, c with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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